GTFOH With Your Cauliflower Pizza Crust. For Real.

I’m going to just come right out and say it. Everybody needs to take it down a god damn notch with the cauliflower. I mean, sweet and sour Jesus, this has gotten out of control. Growing up in northern New York in the early 1980s, if my mother had told me that one day people would try to convince me that mashed up and flattened out steamed cauliflower would be an acceptable base for a pizza, I would’ve packed up my Pound Puppies and run away from home to join the circus. Ain’t nobody messing around with cauliflower at the circus, I’ll tell you that much right now.

I’m out.

Full disclosure, Michelle Obama’s Cauliflower Mac & Cheese recipe is one of my favorites. And I’ll sit right down and eat an entire head of roasted cauliflower in one sitting. Don’t you think I won’t. I’ll give you and your cauliflower ricing comrades kudos on roasted cauliflower until the cauliflower cows come home, but don’t be comin’ up in here with your cauliflower brownies and thinking that I’m going to let you sit on my couch and watch Fixer Upper with me. UH UH. Not happening.

“That’s a negative, Ghost Rider.”

Ok, I’m sorry for what I said about riced cauliflower. I take it back. I’ve made Tasty’s Cauliflower Fried Rice recipe a few times, and, it’s really good. I was fine with that, but YOU HAVE CROSSED A LINE with your Cauliflower Eggs Benedict. Benedict Arnold or whoever Eggs Benedict was named after is probably rolling over in his yolk-soaked grave right now.

Eggs-cuse me?

I know you’ll have me believe that carbs are the enemy. I understand that you want me to think that potatoes and flour are for heathens and mole people. But, let me tell you something. If you DARE show up to my house warming brunch with Cauliflower Everything Bagels, I will literally fist fight you in front of the quiches and then I’ll call your mother AND your grandmother and I will tell them what you’ve done. If you can live with disappointing your Mee-Maw like that after she worked her fingers to the bone knitting mittens for you that you probably lost at a frat party in college, well then that’s on you, Allison.

It’s your life, Allison. You animal.

And then you’re going to post on Facebook that Cauliflower Nachos are better than old school nachos? ARE YOU WOMAN ENOUGH TO COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE? Yea. I didn’t think so.

GTFOH with that mess, Allison.

I’m all for eating healthy and trying to sneak in some veggies into recipes here and there so my kids won’t notice, but for the love of all that’s decent on this great green earth, some things are sacred. And if you think I’m going to let you desecrate my turn to host book club with a Cauliflower Cheesecake, you’re obviously not the person I thought you were.


Get Jiggy With This Perfect St. Patrick’s Day Treat

Big fan of food here, guys. Big fan. YUGE. I believe in a 60/30/10 ratio when it comes to balancing my diet. 30% Healthy, 10% Alcohol and 60% Whatever The Frick Else I Want. What I love even more than eating is when some of the categories collide. For example, wine and vodka started out as grapes and potatoes, allowing me to categorize them under the Healthy AND Alcohol umbrellas. Voila! Look at that. Everybody’s happy. The same goes for this insane Boozy Bailey’s cake because not only is it “in season” thanks to St. Patrick’s day, but you get to have your cake and alcohol too. SO. UHH. YEA.


I wish I could take credit for this masterful confection but I can’t. The first time I made sweet, sweet mouth love to this dessert was at my friend Kelly’s house. Not only is she one of my favorite smartasses on the planet, she’s also a majestic queen of coffee roasting, an award-winning cookie baker, a garden planting phenom and a generous “inn keeper” who lets the hubs and I “pen da night” at her place when we over imbibe on date night in the quaint upstate town of Sackets Harbor. A true delight this one is. Thanks Kelly!

We have this gorgeous creature from the north country to thank.

This recipe is obviously phenomenal for St. Patrick’s Day. I actually used Molly’s Irish Cream when I baked for this post. I KNOW, I KNOW. It’s called BAILEY’S CAKE but, for the record, Molly’s is just as good and it’s cheaper so feel free to use any irish cream you like. I made this last weekend with pumpkin spice flavored Molly’s and it was LEGEN (wait for it) DARY.


This dessert’s also great for a fun brunch, just please PLEASE be sure to clearly label it Not Safe For Children because nobody likes a party that ends with CPS knocking on the door.  Am I right?

Not funny. I mean, a little funny, but NOT FUNNY.

You can really play around with this cake and use any creamy liqueur and fun accent you want. I’ve been considering trying a version with Rum Chata (if you don’t know what this is, find out ASAP) and raisins instead of Bailey’s and chocolate chips. But for now…we gonna’ keep it old school. Here’s what you need:


1 yellow cake mix
2 small packages of instant vanilla pudding
4 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 and 1/2 cups Bailey’s or Molly’s (or any irish cream you like.)
1/2 bag MINI bittersweet chocolate chips (Full size chocolate chips sink to the bottom! No bueno, my friends.)


2 cups confectioner’s sugar
3/4 cup Bailey’s


Preheat your oven to 350. Combine cake mix, pudding mixes, eggs, oil and 1 & 1/2 cups Bailey’s. Mix well. Once the batter is mixed, stir in the mini chocolate chips.


Pour into an ungreased 9 x 13 cake pan and bake for 40 mins.

While your cake’s baking, whisk together 2 cups confectioner’s sugar and 3/4 cup Bailey’s for the glaze. Set aside.


When your cake has cooled for about 15-20 minutes, pierce the top all over with a toothpick so the glaze can get in there and do its thing, then cover the cake in glaze. There’s a lot of glaze, but I promise it will all soak in. I tip the pan back and forth to make sure the glaze settles evenly as it’s cooling.

Once your cake is completely cool, dust with a healthy dose of confectioner’s sugar and cut into 1 in. by 1 in. squares.

Smile pretty, girlfriend.

DISCLAIMER: This cake is dangerous. The bite sized pieces are for a reason so proceed with caution. There may have been one time that I didn’t eat dinner and then had “some wine” and way too many pieces of this cake found their way into me. It ended with me in a middle of the night shower and a carpet cleaning the next day. YA FEELIN’ ME LADIES?

It happens. Neil deGrasse Tyson knows.

If you decide to get jiggy with it and make this Boozy Bailey’s Cake, I’d love to see pics or hear what you think! Feel free to tag me or hit me up on TwitterFacebook and Instagram. Sláinte!